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78 Reasons Why Matt Helders Rules
1. He has a cat named Tom.
2. He is funny.
3. He has a fabulous afro.
4. Pretty Visitors chorus.
5. He has lost weight lately.
6. He makes tracksuit bottoms look attractive.
6. For the “the view from the…”
7. He’s the backbone of the band!
8. For his t-shirt collection.
9. He is a DJ, God is a DJ, coincidence?
10. Last Christmas in Fluorescent Adolescent.
11. He makes nice Christmas videos dressed as Santa Claus.
12. He’s the embodiment of coolness.
14. He manages to be extremely attractive without being attractive
15. He’s friends with Joe Carnall
16. He’s definitely stylish
17. He’s a very good drummer
18. Brianstorm
19. He designs clothes
20. Because he’s more of an Arctic Monkey than John Ashton ever will be.
21. Because he makes funny expressions while playing.
22. Because he still lives in sheffield
23. Because he’s amazing at guitar hero
24. Because of the pipe moment on the Crying Lightning video
25. Because if he had his own tv show we’d all watch it every week without fail.
26. Because he’s a bloody beast when he’s playing!
27. Because of the telescope moment in the Crying Lightning video
28. “Helders You Fucking Rock”
29. His joggers smell fresh
30. He wears crocs.
31. Because he ‘Used to be a child once’
32. He’s the funniest Monkey
33. He’s groovy
34. He knows P.Diddy
35. He’s cooler than P Diddy
36. He has significantly increased P Diddy’s cool meter just by being friends with him.
37. His parents.
38. For the quote “Some might call that rock ‘n’ roll, I just call it unhygenic”.
39. For being way ahead of the other band members
40. For late night tales being awesome.
41. For being the Matt Helders future generations will be talking about.
42. Because he’s a fashion guru
43. Because he’s got dimples
44. For his tee ‘rock like fuck’
45. Because he’s also a DJ
46. Because his brother is really tall.
47. He wears hair products…regardless of what his mother would say
49. He stole a lion during The View From The Windy City
50. He’s the agile beast!
51. For his cover of Last Christmas
52. “Mind Mapping”
53. His mother.
54. Love Machine
55. Tra-la-la-la-tramlines!
56. Because ‘Tra-la-la-la-tramlines!’ is so good, I’m going to make that reason 56 too.
57. His wolf t-shirt
58. For loving The Saturdays.
59. For his tweets.
60. Because he just looks cool.
61. Towel Face.
62. His vans.
63. His I ♥ Berlin t-shirt.
64. Clive Helders.
65.His supremebeing collection
66. He’s a dreamer.
67. He’s stylish.
68. He’s quite an octopus.
69. Poker Face
70. He donated the bass drum skin from his first ever drum kit for Threads Auctions in May 2007.
71. His cameo in Leave before the lights come on music video
72. His cameo in When The Sun Goes Down
73. When he throws his drumsticks.
74. The View From the Afternoon.
75. His face.
76. His wink in the I Bet You Look Good video.
77. He wears Oakleys.
78. He’s Matthew Jerome Helders.
“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it.
A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
- Roald Dahl
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